The pains of growing up

Remember how as a child you could imagine being anything in the world? One day an astronaut, the next a firefighter and then an actor. As a child, my dreams were actually never that wild. I always imagined myself being either a lawyer (I loved watching L.A. Law) or a businesswoman. I didn’t really know what that meant, but there seemed to be a lot of money and power involved, which attracted me a lot as a kid. But I think the best part was always knowing that if I just did well enough in school I could become anything I wanted.

That’s not the case anymore. I’m 29 and of course I can change my career (probably a few times if I want). But it’s too late for me to become a brain surgeon or a nuclear scientist. I could maybe begin studying law or economics or something else, but that would still mean that I would be close to 40 before being able to start a career.

To me, that’s one of the worst things about getting older. And I know 29 isn’t old. But it seems that with each year that passes your possibilities become fewer and fewer. Which sometimes makes it very scary to make any decisions.


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4 Responses to The pains of growing up

  1. Jonathan says:

    Nu kan du jo specialisere dig indenfor et andet fag på ganske kort tid. Den mulighed har en astronaut ikke 🙂 he he og hæ!

  2. moroccomama says:

    Yes and no. I know a guy who went to medical school at age 37, after he got married and had a kid or two. My problem is I can’t find that ONE thing I’m totally passionate about and would be willing to dedicate the next ten years to. But maybe we’ll both get a lightning bold of inspiration one of these days!

    • helenhajjaj says:

      I know you’re right. But sometimes it can be very frustrating to feel like everyone else knows exactly what they want to be doing with their lives and you don’t. But I’m not so worried about you. I have a feeling you’re on the right track with the writing and photography!

      • LCHR says:

        Sorry for spamming, but I’ve been reading most of your posts, and some are making me really sad and eager to respond. I’m not an axe murderer. Promise.

        In any case, I’ve never met an interesting person who knew what they wanted to do with their life. When I do spend more than a heartbeat on someone following a set path, it’s usually because they’re addressing me in their capacity as bank advisers or civil servants.

        Reading through your blog, a lack of a clear identity seems to be your greatest source of frustration. In the post above, it is embodied in professional indecisiveness, but a lot of the time you write about not “fitting in.” With regard to this latter feeling, I’m not sure the issue is as tied up in culture and geography as you seem to think. Rather, I think most intelligent people feel like they’re from a different planet than everyone else most of the time. Just look at some of the great philosophers. Misanthropes and pessimists! I’m not saying you’re either of these things, but merely suggesting that this feeling of alienation which you experience might have something to do with the fact that you’re clearly very intelligent.

        While you’ll experience a lot of wonderful things in the process, I’m not sure traveling around the globe looking for “home” is going to bring you peace of mind. What you need may simply be a change of perspective, a different way of thinking about the world. That can be a bit tricky to accomplish overnight, though, and takes a lot of mental work, both with regard to yourself, and to the human condition in general.

        I’m not sure if saying this will add or detract from my credibility on the issue, but I’m 29 as well, and I don’t have the slightest clue what I’ll be doing in a few years, either. I have a master’s degree that seems to be good for fuck all, and I have no real job prospects. But I’m fairly happy anyway, because as far as my *identity* is concerned, I’m finally coming out on the other side of the very same (very dark) tunnel you’re stumbling through. Which is why I’m confident you’ll be alright. Just soldier on until you see the light 🙂

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