I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately with my girlfriends about men and how confusing they can be and how they’re always sending mixed signals and why does a guy with a girlfriend come on to another girl and why aren’t we smart enough to not fall for a guy with a girlfriend and the list goes on. Generally most of these conversations end up by us agreeing that men are at best hopeless and at worst heartless.
So I was talking to a very sympathetic male friend about a dilemma I was having and my friend was being a very good listener and giving me his thoughts on the subject. Then he began telling me about his situation.
Apparently he had been seeing a girl for about six months, when he suddenly discovered that she was married. She said that the marriage had been dead for the past year and that she only stayed with her husband for different practical reasons. Now, my friend was really in love with this girl, so he stayed with her, hoping that one day she would really end the marriage. She didn’t. And so after some time and some quite dramatic experiences he decided to stop things.
I was shocked. I mean really, truly and utterly SHOCKED! I couldn’t and still can’t believe that another person could do something like that. And yes – I’ll admit it. I was a bit more shocked about the fact that it was a woman, who had acted this way.
Once the initial surprise had passed, I started thinking about something else: How amazing it was that this friend has been through all of that and still not only took the time to listen to me without jumping in with his own story, but also took my petty problems seriously. Honestly, I’m not sure how many of my female friends would be that large.
On the contrary, when I spoke to a girlfriend about my dilemma, she immediately replied by cursing the guy and calling him God knows what… 10 minutes later she was telling me about how she accidentally cheated on her boyfriend and how she wasn’t sure if she felt bad because of what she had done or because she risked getting caught.
So I guess this is to say that sometimes there are actually good guys out there and sometimes the women are hopeless and heartless. And it’s good to remind yourself about that every once in a while.